I'm Just Sayin

“I remember Mama..and say Thank You!”

                                          “I’m Just Sayin’”

                                                                 by Alan P. Scaglione

Today is Mother’s Day—we celebrate all mothers in our lives, whether they be biological or of the heart. We are blessed by those who mother us—they are the ones we run to when we are hurting, when we are doubting, when we are wondering “how can I live through this?” – our mom assures us that they love us and they believe we can do it.

Where would we be without our “Mom?”

Unfortunately, I found that out at the age of 17, a senior in high school. My mom, Rose Matilda Cabrera Scaglione, left me mid-sentence. We were in the hospital, and she was watching her favorite soap, “All My Children”, and I was sitting in a chair reading my homework at 1:12pm on November 18^th, 1977. I remember the time because…it’s the moment my life changed forever.

She said, “that Brooke is such a ….” And it took a minute for me to realize that she hadn’t finished her sentence.

And I looked over at her—something I have regretted for the rest of my life!

No child should see the look of death come over their parent’s face!

The next hour included a Code Blue Team, a lot of nurses pushing me out of the room, and then the words etched in my mind forever “Doctor said DNR!”

DNR?—as a 17 year old kid, I have to admit, I had no idea what that meant.

Whatever it did mean—they suddenly stopped working on my mom!

They slowly left her room, shut her door and walked away.

Leaving me standing there wondering…”why aren’t they working on my mom?”

Then…I stopped a nurse and asked what DNR meant?

She said “The doctor has requested we Do Not Resuscitate!”

I’m told that I passed out at that moment—caught by that nurse!

And that was the end of my life with my Mom!

But…I remember funny things about her…

-      Whenever she was upset, she would say “Aw Junk!”

-      She used to love reading her PhotoPlay magazine while eating her jelly beans.

-      She told me “Life is for the living-- don’t waste it on the dead!”

And she asked me the one question I have never been able to answer..

-      “What did I do to get this cancer?”

So…that was that!

But…I have been blessed by the “moms” My Mom sent my way…to mother me!

There’s “Giggles” – my aunt Evelyn. She makes me laugh to this day! And that’s why I nicknamed her Giggles! She is full of fire and sarcasm! I love every bit of it!

Then there’s my Aunt Ciria, who just left us this past September. She was my mother’s sister – and she treated me like her son and gave me a sister! She encouraged and supported, loved and mothered me. I miss her immensely!

Then there’s Selma, my Mom3! She’s my cousin who treats me like a son! We share conversations about spiritual things, agreeing to disagree on some things and cherishing the many things we do agree on!

And finally, Mama Mamie! She actually asked her kids to go find me last year. She wanted me for her birthday present… and thanks to Facebook—they found me! She sends me text scripture messages and let’s me know that she is praying for me. She also encourages me and invests in my life with my wife and kids. She’s a mom to me!

My mom left me early, but she sent me some really good “Moms” along the way!

I have always felt mothered by these blessings in my life…

Thanks to each of them-- I have never been motherless!

So…no matter whether it’s the one who birthed you, or… someone who “moms” you—

Take some time to say Thank You for being my “mom”!

The Word says in Proverbs 31:28 “her children shall rise up and call her blessed!”

Rise up children….Call your Mom--  “Blessed!”…Today and Everyday!

Until Next Time

I’m Just Sayin’…

Brother “A”

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Points2Ponder by Alan P. Scaglione

                                     Points2Ponder

                                                                                                       By Alan P. Scaglone

My wife and I went to Savannah this past weekend. I am doing research for a murder mystery I am writing called “Summer House: Murder in Savannah!” It was a serious trip with a serious goal—remember that! The whole purpose of the trip was research. We writers have to take time to investigate in preparation for writing about our subject.

Serious stuff!!

We are blessed to stay at this beautiful Summer House in Savannah on Whitemarsh Island, just outside of Tybee Island. Ergo: Summer House in Savannah!

See? A writer writes from what he knows? That’s a fact we authors know and our families have to adjust to—it may “look and sound” like we have written about you, but seriously? It’s fiction!!

Just because “you” see yourself in something that has been written does NOT mean that they wrote about you!

Many authors have been ostracized by their families because the family just “knew” some family secret had been revealed in the author’s writings.

It’s fiction! That’s why they call it that! You may think it’s about you, but… it really isn’t! Cut that author some slack, please!

Can you tell that I have had to deal with this already? You betcha!

Back to Savannah…

So this house is just so “homey!” You just feel at home as soon as you walk in.

And there’s a boathouse—I like to go out there and watch the sunrise and sunset.

 Yes, I AM that guy—I’m up for sunrise each morning. It’s my devotional time. Time to start my day with the Lord. Thank Him for waking me up—I can’t do it, so He is the one who allows me to open my eyes!

I ask Him to order my steps for the day ahead and to use me how He sees fit in whatever way He sees fit at any point He sees fit!

I cover all my bases—“Lord, you want to use me today? I am yours to use however You see fit! Just use me, Lord!”

I have to tell you…I start my day out right, giving God His time BEFORE I go off to work and the hustle and bustle of daily life!

You should really try it sometime—start your day with time to say…Thank you Lord!

Once all that is done, and I am reflecting on the goodness of the Lord, watching the sunrise, amazed by His masterpiece that He draws in the sky each and every morning anew!

Aww! It’s breathtaking!

I take it all in… get my day, my heart, my mind…all ready for whatever God has in store for me!

And then… I reach for my slingshot—aim and release!

You got it! I just let the ol’ Huckleberry Finn in me come out…and I play a little!

Nothing too serious, nothing too refined.

Just a 52 year old kid playing with his slingshot!

POINTS2PONDER  Why is it so hard to just be a kid again? Just suspend all the responsibilities of life—for a moment in time—and just pick up your slingshot…aim and release!

I think we need to just take some time out from the seriousness of life…to just relax and enjoy… a moment… by acting like a kid again!

For me, it’s playing with my slingshot—I love it! I even bought some rocks to use! Yes, I said “bought”!

It’s easier for me to just have the rocks ready when I want to “play with my slingshot!” You are welcomed to bend over and pick up your rocks every time you want to sling your shot!

Have at it!

I am a city boy at heart who loves to “play” in the country…but make no mistake…I plan my play! And buying a bag of rocks just makes it easier!

So? Maybe it’s a slingshot? Maybe it’s a yo-yo? Maybe it’s a fishing rod?

Just take time to just be a kid again—it’s good for you!

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I'm Just Sayin" by Alan P. Scaglione

“My greatest honor—being their PAPA!”

                                          “I’m Just Sayin’”

                                                                 by Alan P. Scaglione

Just look at them! Aren’t they just beautiful?
I know…I sound like a proud Papa, now don’t I?
And that’s because…30 years later, I still am!
My twin daughters turned 30 on Cinco de Mayo!
How did that happen? I still feel 25--okay, maybe 30-- tops!!
I can honestly tell you—being their father has been the greatest honor of my life!
I have been the father I always wanted—involved, supportive, attentive and …yes, cool!
Okay, so I’m the one who thinks I was a “Cool Dad” – jury’s still out on their verdict!
From the first moment I held them, all 4 lbs. 8 oz. and 4 lbs 12 oz—my 5 pound sack of potatoes!
I think I learned to love unconditionally when I became a father.
I also learned to forgive…my father… when I became a father.
I suddenly realized…he just did his best—it may not have been what I wanted or felt I needed, but…
It was his best! And I finally got that!
I also realized…a WOMAN can be President!! IF that’s what my daughters wanted—
Bless God! I am going to make sure they are elected!
All because…God sent me these precious jewels, “Papa’s Pujalinas!”

I watched them grow and become distinctly unique in personality and mannerisms and attitude!
If you know me…you will know…I would not raise quiet, spectator kids—
Nope—we are “in your face” “leader of the pack” kind of people!
I am so proud of all of their leadership they have shown over the years!
One was Valedictorian and One was Senior Class President!
One was Head Cheerleader and One was Star Vocalist in Choir!
They always led the pack—in their own way; one was shyer than the other but still had so many friends.

They sang in a group called “Chosen” together. One also was into sign language and wanted to be a teacher.
And today, she is a teacher of kindergarten.
One got a Bright Future scholarship but didn’t finish college—she married and started her family of four!
One didn’t get a scholarship but graduated from Lee University and became an Account Executive in the Insurance industry.

They are officially grown up—which I guess means, I am officially retired from active duty!
And yet…I would go back and do it all over again—in a New York minute!

Favorite memory with my firstborn (by one minute—something she never lets anyone forget) was a card she made me.
She had a hard time pronouncing her “r’s”. She made me a Father’s Day card and on the back it read…
HALLMAUK!
It was a “Hallmauk Card!”  I have cherished that card for 25 years!

My favorite memory with our 2^nd born(that doggone minute thing again!) was about 5 years ago.
We took her to our favorite beach resort on Treasure Island, Florida and spent the night.
I love to get up in the morning, go to shore and sit in my beach chair and… welcome the sunrise!
No one EVER comes out there with me—“It’s too early!! Why do we have to get up just to see the sun?”
Yada yada yada!
But this one morning, while I am sitting in my chair, reflecting on God’s natural masterpiece about to unfold..
She suddenly appears, with a chair-- smiles, gives me a kiss on the cheek and sits next to me!
I started to cry… she looked at me and said “this should get me off the hook for at least 5 years!”
We laughed…and watched the sunrise together!

I didn’t see either of them for this birthday—but I sent them a present.
I created a “uniquely yours” photo album of all of their ORIGINAL photos—I relinquished my picture stash to them!
And for the 24 pages of pictures, I provided my personal reflections comments of our life at the time of that picture!
And I told them—“when I am gone, remember me kindly.”

The Bible says, “Train up a child in the way that they should go, and when they are old, they will not depart.”(Proverbs 22:6)
Just how old is “old”?
 I gave them my greatest gift—my faith, my relationship with Christ, my life as an example!

And now…I have to step back, their training wheels in hand and say “go do for yours what I have done for you!”

I wouldn’t have missed this for the world!

Until Next Time

I’m Just Sayin’…

Brother “A”

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Points2Ponder

“Alan and Joe—when we were kids!”

                                     Points2Ponder

                                                                                                       By Alan P. Scaglone

I was sitting with my brother Joe at the hospital this past weekend.

He was awake; his eyes were open, and he was looking at me as if to say, “what’s going on out there while I’m stuck in here?”

I had sent his wife and my wife out for an extended walk or talk or whatever his wife needed – just to get away from all of “this!”

“This?” you might ask? “This” is 5 weeks in ICU, hearing one negative report after another.

Doctors see what they see and report on it.

That’s their job—and we need to hear what they know—but we need to remember—they don’t know EVERYTHING!

And for anyone out there dealing with a situation where someone is in the hospital for an extended period of time, may I make a suggestion?

The spouse could really use a break sometime—to run errands, go home for a little while, go eat dinner away from the hospital, or just…sit and do nothing.

You might want to consider scheduling your visit at a time when the spouse can do some much needed activity AWAY from the hospital.

And you may just need to convince them—to walk away for an hour—it will help reinvigorate and refresh them, spirit, soul and body!

The patient is not the only one going through this—the spouse is in need of some TLC also—so be kind, be gentle, but make them get away—even just for a little while!

Back to Joe and me—just sitting together. I was by his bedside. Holding his hand.

He was anxious—the less sedated he was, the more aware of all the uncontrollable forces around him.

And honestly, it scared him.

So…I am sitting there, holding my brother’s hand. He is looking at me, I am talking to him, and we are sharing a moment.

I do the topical stuff; this niece came to visit him, that Uncle and Aunt showed up; mentioned all of the people he would be surprised to know—came to check on him.

He moved his eyes and he moved his lips. The tracheotomy and the ventilator still make it impossible for him to speak, but…he is learning to communicate.

For example, he uses his pointer finger, bent down and then moving up and down, to say “thank you!”

He uses that same motion with the pointer pointing at him to say “come closer!”

I was telling him about my book and how it was being published— he smiled real big!

I went on to tell him that I had been hired to write for Xulon on a monthly basis, and they were actually paying me for my articles.

I then saw his pointer finger move up and down toward him. I asked him if he wanted me to come closer. He nodded yes.

I did. And his pointer finger gestured again for me to come even closer.

I asked him if he was trying to tell me something. He nodded yes and smiled big.

I put my ear close to his mouth, hoping he was trying to whisper something.

They said he might try to talk in a quiet whisper.

That’s when it happened.

I leaned in to listen—and he moved toward me and—kissed me on the cheek!

I was startled—I asked him “what was that for?”

He smiled real big!

I asked “are you proud of me?”

His eyes got big and his smile was ear to ear—and he nodded YES!

That’s the most tenderhearted he has ever been with me.

POINTS2PONDER  Why is it that we quit being tenderhearted to our family? When’s the last time you surprised your sibling with a kiss or a hug?

I started to cry, and he put his hand over mine and patted it—then he moved his bent pointer finger up and down.

 I just said, “you are welcomed, big brother.”

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