Points2Ponder

“Alan and Joe—when we were kids!”

                                     Points2Ponder

                                                                                                       By Alan P. Scaglone

I was sitting with my brother Joe at the hospital this past weekend.

He was awake; his eyes were open, and he was looking at me as if to say, “what’s going on out there while I’m stuck in here?”

I had sent his wife and my wife out for an extended walk or talk or whatever his wife needed – just to get away from all of “this!”

“This?” you might ask? “This” is 5 weeks in ICU, hearing one negative report after another.

Doctors see what they see and report on it.

That’s their job—and we need to hear what they know—but we need to remember—they don’t know EVERYTHING!

And for anyone out there dealing with a situation where someone is in the hospital for an extended period of time, may I make a suggestion?

The spouse could really use a break sometime—to run errands, go home for a little while, go eat dinner away from the hospital, or just…sit and do nothing.

You might want to consider scheduling your visit at a time when the spouse can do some much needed activity AWAY from the hospital.

And you may just need to convince them—to walk away for an hour—it will help reinvigorate and refresh them, spirit, soul and body!

The patient is not the only one going through this—the spouse is in need of some TLC also—so be kind, be gentle, but make them get away—even just for a little while!

Back to Joe and me—just sitting together. I was by his bedside. Holding his hand.

He was anxious—the less sedated he was, the more aware of all the uncontrollable forces around him.

And honestly, it scared him.

So…I am sitting there, holding my brother’s hand. He is looking at me, I am talking to him, and we are sharing a moment.

I do the topical stuff; this niece came to visit him, that Uncle and Aunt showed up; mentioned all of the people he would be surprised to know—came to check on him.

He moved his eyes and he moved his lips. The tracheotomy and the ventilator still make it impossible for him to speak, but…he is learning to communicate.

For example, he uses his pointer finger, bent down and then moving up and down, to say “thank you!”

He uses that same motion with the pointer pointing at him to say “come closer!”

I was telling him about my book and how it was being published— he smiled real big!

I went on to tell him that I had been hired to write for Xulon on a monthly basis, and they were actually paying me for my articles.

I then saw his pointer finger move up and down toward him. I asked him if he wanted me to come closer. He nodded yes.

I did. And his pointer finger gestured again for me to come even closer.

I asked him if he was trying to tell me something. He nodded yes and smiled big.

I put my ear close to his mouth, hoping he was trying to whisper something.

They said he might try to talk in a quiet whisper.

That’s when it happened.

I leaned in to listen—and he moved toward me and—kissed me on the cheek!

I was startled—I asked him “what was that for?”

He smiled real big!

I asked “are you proud of me?”

His eyes got big and his smile was ear to ear—and he nodded YES!

That’s the most tenderhearted he has ever been with me.

POINTS2PONDER  Why is it that we quit being tenderhearted to our family? When’s the last time you surprised your sibling with a kiss or a hug?

I started to cry, and he put his hand over mine and patted it—then he moved his bent pointer finger up and down.

 I just said, “you are welcomed, big brother.”

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