Saying goodbye... is the hardest thing.
Even when you’ve let go and prepared yourself for the inevitable—their departure is soon.
When it comes, it still hits you like a ton of bricks. They are gone, really gone.
No more daily phone calls.
No more weekend visits with Frosty and Pita in hand.
Now, you have to prepare to show honor for the life that was well lived.
A life that left an indelible mark on your heart—that says, “I was changed by knowing you!”
And you know…that change was good!
POINTS2PONDER Why is it so hard to move on, once they’ve “gone on?”
My Aunt Ciria Bridges passed away recently. She is in heaven, where she longed to be. She is out of her pain and misery, walking steets of gold.
Guess it doesn’t matter to her who shows up at her funeral, right? She’s not there, she doesn’t care!
But that’s where honor comes in.
Honor says…I want to respect the memory I have of this person, who left an indelible mark on my life, by an action or a comment or a memory.
Honor says…they deserve my time and effort to make my presence known. Even if it means…a change of plan.
Life (AND Death) is what happens when you’re making other plans!
I have always said, “those who show up at your funeral attest to your life—you mattered enough to them to stop and say “Thank You!””
Promises mean something to me—I keep the ones I make. Even if it means, performing my Aunt’s funeral.
What was I thinking?
Guess it goes back to that honor thing—she left that indelible mark on my heart, she was my mother here on earth—and, I wanted to say “thank you!”
It was raining that morning…she hated rainy days. With her COPD, rainy days made it difficult for her to breathe.
I looked out the window and laughed, “she would hate that it is raining!”—but then I realized, she doesn’t HAVE COPD anymore!
She might just enjoy a rainy day for the first time in a long time.
The service was at 1pm—at 12:45, the rain stopped, the sun came out, the wind blew and Voila! It was a perfect day for a funeral.
I chuckled that I could see my Aunt go up to the throne and say, “Can I speak to you for a moment? I know I’ve only been here a couple of days, but can I ask you a big favor? You see, I need this rain to stop, just long enough for my family to celebrate my life and be able to move on, like they should. Is that too much to ask?”
I guess it wasn’t!
And we gathered, under a beautiful oak tree, and celebrated this life that made such a difference in ours. We shared her favorites: poem, psalm, memories; sang her favorite hymn “In the Garden” together, like an old tent revival; shared stories of potato salad recipes received, canisters now treasures, “hip grandma” watching Clay Aiken on American Idol, “lawn mowing” grandma, ”always feed you at her house” aunt, handling the worst news with “grace”, singing Christmas Carols on the piano she gave, performing Yoga at her age and even going up in an air balloon at age 65! How she loved air balloons!
We laughed, cried, recited, reminisced, reflected—and together, under that tree, we let go.
All of it—befitting a proper send-off for a graceful “classy lady” who made all of our lives better for having known her!
She often said, “Life is for the living—don’t waste it on the dead!”
From my daughter who honored her hip “Claymate” Aunt by driving in to be there, to the Yoga Instructor who sent her comments about her favorite student…
We honored a life, a good life—one that made a difference to our life!
When it was over, we had the children gather in a circle—gave them each an aqua(her favorite color) helium balloon and…with a 1,2,3 and a “We Love You” shouted in unison…we let those balloons fly into the sky…up to heaven!
We let go…and now, we move on!
And as we drove off, I felt a drop of rain. Guess He kept His promise too!
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