Modern Handmade Child

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Points2Ponder By Alan P. Scaglione

“Give Notice—You may just save a life!”
                                                                          By Alan P. Scaglone

Went to a funeral for a friend.
Her name was Beth Davey, and she was a colleague of mine.
I only knew her through work, but I did speak to her on occasion.
She died suddenly—in the middle of the night—recovering from cosmetic surgery.
She was 39!
Yep, I said—39!
I had just seen her at work the day before. She was having one day surgery. She was released to go home. Friends were staying the night, around the clock.
Beth had no family—her friends were her family.
Somewhere around the 3 am hour, her friend drifted off to sleep—3 hours later, the friend wakes up to find…Beth Dead!
You just never know—so much for those who think they will always have time…to make things right!
Beth told her few friends several times that no one ever noticed her and wouldn’t even know if she were not there.
She said she felt invisible—like no one cared, except for her close circle of friends, and…her beloved dog “Charlie!”
Boy, was she ever wrong—yet she didn’t know people cared. They assumed she did. She didn’t think anyone “noticed” her.

POINTS2PONDER Why do we assume someone knows they are liked and appreciated and are needed. Why can’t we “notice” people more? It could save a life!

We gathered on a Saturday morning, 10am, when working people normally have chores, housework, soccer games, boating, family time—all crammed into a Saturday.
But, there we were…about 60 of her “closest” colleagues—to pay tribute, to give honor, to show Beth - we noticed she was not there anymore!
They gave the opportunity to say a few words.
I am THAT guy— I will speak up about the person. It’s the last time you will gather – if they mattered enough to get you there, why can’t you just say something???
Well, I do.
I said that Beth didn’t have any family and thought no one noticed her, but…I look around and see a lot of sisters and brothers who gathered because they noticed—Beth was gone!
I mentioned that she would have been surprised that we all cared so much—enough to miss the soccer game, the family time or the time at the beach.
She would never think that we cared enough to sacrifice a Saturday morning—for her!
And I wondered why? Why she wouldn’t know this? Why she would be surprised that we are here?

Then I asked “What does it take for us to notice each other just a little more? A new haircut, a new blouse, a new car, a new hair color? Just to say, “Hey I noticed that about you today!””
And then I asked, “In Beth’s memory, Let’s take the time to look at each other-- in the eyes, ask how we are doing, and…actually listen for the response BEFORE you go…that’s good!”
I reminded them of that movie called “What Women Want” with Mel Gibson—before he went crazy!
There was a secretary who was going to commit suicide because no one ever noticed her—he heard her thoughts, noticed her new dress, saved her life!
I wondered how many of us could save a life just by noticing someone we worked with.

I walked into the office today, and I had several people tell me how much they appreciated what I said and we need to notice one another more.
A colleague came in with a new hair-do! After the fifth person commented on her new “do” – she said, “What’s the deal? No one ever notices that much!”
Another girl spoke up and said, “Ask Alan—he’s asked us to “Give Notice—Let someone know—I noticed the change in you!”
Guess they really were listening!
So…I challenge you—Give Notice—you just may save a life!
In memory of Beth Davey- I noticed you!

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