"I'm Just Sayin" by Alan P. Scaglione

Teeto and Alan

“I’m Just Sayin’”

by Alan P. Scaglione

Friendship can be a funny thing: they say people come in your life for a season, a reason or a lifetime. Shared life experience provides the birthplace for lasting friendships. It is also said that, after a certain age, if a man has one good friend, the kind you can call at any time to talk you off the ledge or out of buying that red “mid-life crisis” sports car, then you are blessed.

Guess I am triple blessed! There are 3 friendships I have collected, each friendship is at least 25 years old-each fed with time and love and shared respect. I met “J” in 1972 in our 85 voice youth choir, travelling across the nation. She was our piano player, and I was the youngest choir director we ever had- and we both loved to laugh! I met “T” in the summer of 1983 when we both joined IBM. We had daughters the same age, raising our family was priority, and again, we loved to laugh! Then there’s “S”- my “across the street, suzie homemaker, happy to be a mom, puts handprints as a chair railing down her hallway” neighbor back in 1984 that we have always stayed in touch. We have gone through divorce and children’s crises together, cried together and yes…laughed much! These ladies are my core crew that have seen me through it all—

I salute each of them!

But, what about those season and reason friends? I just got “unfriended” due to a text message that I sent at 10:15 on a Saturday night! I didn’t know it was too late to share a funny observation about Key West with a friend. I didn’t know that he was suddenly tired. All I knew was…by the end of the evening, facebook no longer had him listed as my friend. I still don’t know the “reason”; guess the “season” is over for me- right?

Then there’s the “reason” friend!  I have a friend at work - my son’s age, and I am his father’s age, but..we have bonded in the last 18 months, taking a hundred calls a day. He never knew me before my heart attack. He said he had heard about me(never knew what that meant?) Teeto has invited Bella and me to birthday parties, get togethers and even “just drop by when you want” moments. He even writes down some of my sayings and promises he will be the guy at my funeral who recites all of my “alan-isms” to the attendees! Teeto reminds me that, even during this crisis, I am friendly and worthy of friendship.

Friendship is a two-way street, both parties responsible to cultivate and protect the friendship with an investment of time and care and trust and confidence…and laughter! I prescribe laughter!

Take a moment to review your “friendships”. Place them into:  lifetime, season and reason categories. Ask yourself what have you learned and taught, gleaned and shared, received and given?

How many friendships have you discarded because…somebody sent a text too late at night? Or some other reason that may seem trivial now, but so important at the time. Wish you had waited til the morning?

The Word says in Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must show himself friendly, and there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother!” Both are equally important: being friend-LY AND sticking close!

Upon reflection, I am blessed with the following: 3 lifetime friends; my sister-in-law “K”, the sister I never had; and, cousins who are friends! Guess it is possible to have more than one treasured friend!

And then there’s Teeto…guess he is a lifetime “friend-in-training”. Hey, I gotta keep him…he’s the only one who wants to speak at my funeral!

Until next time,

I’m Just Sayin’…

Brother “A”