Modern Handmade Child

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Points2Ponder


                                     Points2Ponder
                                                                                                       By Alan P. Scaglone

And then there were two. The picture above is a childhood picture of Big Brother Joe, Middle Brother Paul and Never Smallest but always youngest brother Alan. Oh yea…the cat? That’s Tigris the 1st! I say the first because we had Tigris 1, 2, 3 and 4. When we liked a name…we stuck with it! Apparently!
There we are—just 3 nobody kids from a nobody neighborhood…born to lower class, blue collar working parents. Papa was a diesel truck mechanic; Mama made brooms and mops for a living. Your basic working class family—never much to speak of, but we always had food…and each other!
Joe was the firstborn—he was the one who left home to get married and had a daughter, whom he adored. Nikki was the heartbeat to my brother’s heart…until she was killed by a drunk driver…and his heart quit beating. He continued to exist, but losing his 18 year old daughter stopped his heart…for the first time.
Roll forward 22 years, on Saturday, May 12th, at 8:15pm, after 5 grueling weeks in ICU fighting the good fight with every fiber of his body, his heart stopped beating for the last time!
His brothers were with him for that last moment, when he left this earth and was reunited with his daughter in heaven for the first time in 22 years. I know he was excited to see God, but… I have to believe he put up his pointer finger, signaling to the Lord “Just one moment please!” while he hugged Nikki for the first time in a long time, and his heart started beating again—in heaven!
And then there were two. We cried, we hugged, we reminisced, we wondered…all the why’s and why not’s you wonder when your 61 year old brother goes from completely healthy on April 1st to being admitted into the emergency room April 6th to watching him slowly diminish and slip into a coma, kidneys failing, lungs collapsing... and finally, heart beat stopping..
We were there for it all—through thick and thin—that’s what our parents taught us—“your siblings are the ones you can depend on when your parents are gone…and we did! Until the very end!”
But…we had no idea that the “very end” would be 42 days away!

POINTS2PONDER  Why do we assume they will just always be there—until they aren’t? Why can we make time for a funeral -- but be too busy to visit before??

So we are in the midst of the “decisions” – what song? Which poem? What time? What place?
And I keep thinking… “and then there were two”…and I feel a tear rolling down my face, and I realize…I’m really going to miss my Big Brother—that really surprises me!
So…here’s your homework, okay?
Reach out to your sibling—that one you may not talk to very often or haven’t talked to in years!
Reconnect with them BEFORE you have to fly in for a funeral or hear about their “very end” via email or text or a phone call.
You make the first step—and I promise it will not matter who makes the second because…you will be reconnected again.
Don’t let a hearse lead you to your sibling’s final destination—and you wish you had made amends.
IF you have time to attend their funeral you MUST have time to reconnect BEFORE there IS a funeral!
And in the end…when they are gone, you will save yourself a lifetime of regret and wishes and coulda shoulda!
I would not have wanted to be anywhere else this past Saturday than with my Big Brother…
Cheering him on as he finished HIS race and received HIS glory…and saw his little girl again!

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